april 2022

sorrow, sorrow

by red letter sky

i got friends

i got friends in all the right places, tempting me with water and wine. they don’t know the devil i’m facing. they don’t know the panic inside

what could i become? for too long, i’ve been dreaming of an ordinary life. for too long, i’ve been dreaming of a baby and a wife, but i, the more i go deep down i know that i will die alone.

i got friends in all the high places, telling me that now is the time. they don’t know the demons i’m facing. they don’t know i’m losing my mind.

“i know who you are. i know where you go. i know how your story ends.”

just you and me alone.

we are beautiful

“my love, before you leave, say you’ll turn around and look at me. look at me. i’m falling at your feet. i thought that you would stay. where did you go? what did you find there?”

“my love, before you get there, say you’ll stay for one more dance, cause my eyes, my feet, and your hands, they go way too fast. where are they now? what did they find to make you go and change your mind?”

when i wake up from this bad dream, the burning in my hands and feet and all of this anxiety thrown into the raging sea! and everything shall be complete, back in perfect harmony. the water flows from black to green, resurrection following. we’ll go to sleep alone.

we are beautiful.

“i don’t want to make believe everything is going to be ok.”

you can’t follow

“come and gather round! sing a song of god and man! throw your cover down, cause we can’t follow! all together now! for the future of our people! throw your bodies down, cause we can’t follow!”

burn the city down. everybody shouts and waves their branches, but revolution sounds just like sorrow, sorrow. put the fire out. you know it can’t burn forever. turn your face around, cause you can’t follow.

no, you can’t follow.

calling this way home

now that the time has come, we can turn the many into one, cause i know you. make all the pieces fit. we can turn them into something good, good like you.

i’ve been staying up wondering how i can do this on my own. will you be thinking of me when you’re all alone? cause i’m going back home.

would i make a big mistake? it’s no better if i run away, cause i know you. blood bread and life and death, we can turn them into something good, good like you.

i’ve been staying up wondering how i will do this on my own. will you be praying for me no matter where i go? cause i’m going back home.

now i’m dizzy from thinking that this is gonna end before i’m ready. am i missing out on something that i should do or something that i’m supposed to say to you? and in knowing now how it’s gonna end, should i avoid the thing i know that is coming and now i’m dizzy cause i know i’m gonna go through with this.

i can’t slow this down. i’m running out of breath, losing grip on you. just keep saying all things are gonna to be made new. gonna be made new.

i’ll do this alone. it’s gonna cost my body. it’s gonna cost my soul. will you be waiting for me telling me i’m home, welcoming me home? i’m calling this way home.

not now

in the morning when i woke up, i saw a bright yellow star. then the rain started pouring down. what was wrong with my heart? in this hour of life and death, i found a light in the dark. i gave all that i have to you. and now you tear me apart?

no. not now.

i waited for you with all my friends. i wanted to say goodbye. then the blood started pouring out. god i’m losing my mind.

“blood and holy water all come pouring out. buried in the ground, you will wear a crown. you should know by now – my kingdom’s upside down.”

it’s too late now to turn around, and i don’t have the strength to go through this without you. there’s got to be a better way. maybe i’m just a fool, but i can’t stop loving you. i told you i don’t want to go, and i can’t make this beautiful.

wasted all on you

young romantic heart, my friends all waving on. whatever makes you happy i have done. they laugh and point and shout “the bastard son of god! the measure of a savior isn’t love, it’s where he spills his blood! you better run away!”

wasted all on you.

“dumb rejected fool! abandoned by his god! the measure of devotion isn’t love, it’s never giving up!”

“you better run away. you better run away. your love is gonna make you suffocate.”

why don’t we start over and try again? you were my own father. you were my friend.

i am

i tried to make you proud, even till the end. my body’s in the ground. my soul is one with death. as you turned your back and threw me into hell, nails holding fast, they crucified a shell.

without you i am dirt, a shadow of a man. suffering and hurt will never win again. there’s nothing more to do. there’s nothing left to pray. forgive me for my doubt, you always knew the way.

resurrection came tearing through the night, and i can finally say all will be made right. even as the morning falls, everything we knew crumbles to a thousand pieces right in front of you. you knew the way. until the end i’ll say.

i am.


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